Saturday reading

In these times when a majority of the population in a country considered "developed" believes that animals are born with an assortment of rectangular muscles, I find it's good to delve into the deep coffers of the common knowledge of the internetz to find out where on the scale of C. elegans to cerebral one is standing today. I think food knowledge is a good place to start - after all, we all stuff some kind of calorific pulp down our oesophagus on a daily basis. The benevolent internet is not a discriminating place, even anorexics can find comprehensive guides on what to do with their preferred vehicle of sustenace (water). Or maybe I'm being too cerebral about a guide on how to boil water, maybe someone out there was born at the age of twenty-five, missing that very first home ec class.



Moving up a step, Rachael Ray, the woman who's voice inspred the first nails-on-blackboard choir, has posted a recipe on how to make late-night bacon. I suppose the lack of an early-morning bacon recipe implies biblical consequences of this last supper-quality meal. (Many esteemed food writers have praised the magical quality of bacon to transform almost any dish. I quote: “Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”—Doug Larson. I therefore have no doubt that bacon is the missing magical ingredient required for actual transsubstantiation.)



The next step seems to be your average American conundrum, namely "how can I make a pizza out of that?". Want an ice cream cone? There´s now the PizzaCone! Just what the world needed. The deeper meaning of pizza toppings has even become a legitimate discussion topic for prospective presidential candidates. I guess if Sarah Palin chose a sprinkling of bacon on her late night pizza with Donald Trump, and we haven't heard from her this morning (yet), it means we can expect some kind of ressurection to occur. Let's just hope it's of the time when Alaska was thought to be part of the north pole and no one had heard of the sin of further bastardizations of fast-food abominations.



(images from google.com)