Don't put it on your label

(picture from wownews.se)

Systembolaget has stopped sales of a wine called "wacky chicks" because of the printed lipstick kisses on its label. Apparently "The combination of pouting lips and the name gives the impression, in our opinion, that alcohol consumption raises physical or mental capabilities, contributes to social or sexual success or solves problems such as loneliness or boredom”. Really!!? Let's have a look at that, shall we. If I'm not much mistaken, Systembolaget sells a "wine" called "Emotions". This is what the bottle looks like.


(picture from systembolaget.se)

Now, if that picture ain't sellin' "enhancement of physical or mental capabilities", I don't know what is! In fact, just looking at that bottle makes me want to booze my entire drizzly, wet, depressing Swedish "summer" vacation away. And then the name, "Emotions", that just screams of all the stuff I might be lacking in said depressing vacation (say all the millions of souls who crave immortality but don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon).
Let's have a look at another one. "Relax". (It's a German riesling. Relax what?)


(picture from systembolaget.se)

I guess if it's called "Relax" it's not "an enhancement of physical or mental capabilities", but rather a loss of mental and physical capabilities. In fact, just looking at this bottle I feel like buying a whole case for winding down after work. Maybe I should get a case for everyone in the restaurant? After all, restaurant staff are known for their high-octane tempers and stressful lives. Yes, they all need some "Relax" every day, because what's on the label must be true.

I'm all in with BKWine on this one. We have a ridiculous law only allowing the over-20s to buy a bottle of wine, by which time one should have learnt to distinguish between advertisements and reality. If by this time one hasn't learnt these things, maybe there are other things one should be worrying about than buying "wacky chicks". After all, I don't know of anyone who bought Coke Zero because they thought it came with the possibilities of becoming more attractive to women (or being given a personal SWAT-team and a chopper. But that's another story).